Am I talking too much?
by KuroYazi
Summary: Dante is finding an unexpected guest in his apartment and he's not gonna tolerate him.


Ok. This is a little Dantes monologue. All takes place shortly after the events of Devil May Cry3. The utterances are separated cuz there are short pauses between them so it may look like he is talking with someone. To remark other than Dante speaker I used different fond. Am mote this, since my native language is not English text might contain mistakes… I was waiting for beta ages, so I decided to put it here anyway. Hope ya like it… even a bit.

* * *

Am I Talking Too Much? 

After Dante defeated Arkham and his twin brother Vergil fell down to the demon world, Dante finally came back to his shop. He looked on his recently rented flat. The building was completely ruined from outside. _Well, he's still alive at least. That's sure something._ He crossed over collapsed gates and step on scattered pieces of glass. It cracked under his heavy boots. _At last!_ He though. _Now, I can take a break of this damn mess. I'll enjoy the silence in MY damn room and MY damn chair all alone… actually it doesn't look that bad from inside. Just need a few repairs and… huh… alone…  
_

" WHAT THE F ARE YOU DOING HERE?! "

"No! Don't tell me! I know! You're some freakin' demon, are you? Or even better! You came here to kill me or… maybe you wanna hire me to hunt down some damn monsters? "

"Or not? Well, I don't give a damn… and you know what? Get lost, cuz I'm on vacations right now. "

"I don't want to hear a f word from ya! You see that? It's a bullet and next time it's gonna blow your head."

"…….."

"Are you deaf or something? I said: g e t o u t o f m y f a c e. "

"I'm totally exhausted so do me a favor and find something better to do, will ya?"

"Bah! Do I really have to repeat it to you? Huh? Don't ya have other people to stare at? Geez… I have to lay down a bit or I'll die standing. Aaah, that's better…ugh! What the… Oh, maaaan, my pizza! Who the hell put it on the couch!? Ah, right... it was me…"

"Uh? Ya still here? Are you lost little girl? I already said I'm busy. I'm a damn busy man, you see. No time to play, no time for lost little girls…"

"And besides, how the f did you get in here?! Ah, the doors are… or rather the aren't here any more."

"Ok. Listen missy, cuz Lady has already been taken, I don't care who-you-are or what-is-your-name. This hell of a party is already over. Beat it!"

"Gaaah…Listen, we'll do it that way. I will close my eyes and when I open them I don't want to see you standing in that corner, K? Good. I'm closing my eyes. I'm counting till 10 and you find a hole that once was a door. 1…2…3…4…5.6.7.8.9.10!"

"Haaa… Finally alone. Honestly, some people just… WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SITTING ON MY DESK?!"

"You got some guts, ya know. Uhhh…listen dude. I had a really hard day. I've killed more demons than you can put into smelter, I had to kick my brothers ass and some freakin' clown and then I almost stocked in a shit hole called hell after I was eaten by a giant alligator. Oh, did I forgot to mention that because of some demon punks my shop is a damn ruin? The show's over, ya late asshole! "

"…….."

"Is there any reason you're standing and gazing at me? Are you retarded? Bah! Can't you leave me ALONE? You know what does it mean, don't you? It's when everybody are outside but you're inside. The doors were somewhere… somewhere there. Help yourself…"

" Damn it!!! Get the hell out of here!!! Or I'll kick your ass out of space on some planet from where you won't be able to stare at people!"

"What is wrong with you?! Are you… No, nononono. Ya can't supposed to be… theworstcreatureeverbiggestdiseaseofthisworldthatbrigsdoomupontheearth: a fan girl?"

"That's right! You can't be pizza girl cuz you bring no pizza with. You can't be customer cuz otherwise you would say something like; _I've got a mission for you son of Sparda_ or that kind of official crap. And you are not repairer cuz I haven't called for them yet! Or did I? Maybe… ugh! I don't remember. "

"Hmm… action faster than a though. That would be definitely something. What a damn speed! Wheeew… _that_ would be awesome! "

"Ok, ok. Back to business… let me get this strait. You are not a customer, not pizza girl, you aren't repairer…cuz you definitely don't look like pizzas cuz they wear this funny yellow jumpers… and you are not lost... because you're staring at me with those creepy eyes of yours and you actually look like you exactly knew me… So you have to be a fangirl."

"Jesus Christ! They finally found me. I'm so lost!!! Papa save meeeee! Oh, God! I should fell down to hell with Vergil or got killed by him. Anything but why this?! You know?! They made _me_ doing this with my own _brother_! …of course not for real… but still!!! And for God sake! I'm not a cute kitten!!! I'm a damn demon hunter!! When will ya all understand that?! Huh?"

"Is this... is this the end?! Where are they hiding?! Huh? In closet? No. In bathroom? Nope. Under bed? Nope. Behind my desk? Noooope. Aha! Neither in shoe locker, but even a demon wouldn't last long in _my_ shoe locker... hey! Put that down! Don't touch my staff. Even if it's a ... a fluffy kitten ears? From when do I wear kitten ears!? Bah! If you touch again my staff I'm gonna knock you out. Anyways, you should be going now. Got it?"

After one hour and thirty nine minutes.

"... so you see when you're attacking you also making a space out of guard and that is why I always got bit up by Vergil. Not, as some lame assholes say, cuz I'm weaker or this kind of shit I just put too much straight in offensive. That's the secret. In fact, I got more damn potential than whole hell brought together. I'm better! You bet I am!!"

Twenty seven minutes has passed.

"...and the thing with my shop. Dude, I haven't even named it yet! "

Another half an hour has passed.

" …then you're definitely not fangirl cuz they squeak and jump on you with this funny sounds like; plop, glomp and stuck to your back like those sticky things whatever ya call them and they are definitely attack you in a group. Besides you're not here to kill me or some freakin' avenger, my lost twin sister or daughter... I think so. I mean, you can't be! I always use best hells gum. They're almost indestructible, ya know. Once I tried burn them and it also didn't worked. I'm serious, from its material you can make anti rocket shield! He he he! aaaah..."

After another fifteen minutes.

" sob And you know what else? sob, sob It's not the worst they draw me in skirts, kitty costumes and with Verg in bed but all this crazy chicks who supposed to be my lost daughters or sisters or supernatural-power-demon-princesses! That's right! They are taking my place. You hear this? MY f role. Damn it! And there's more. Oh, don't close to that stuffed demon. He might be still alive, somehow... ummm… what am I talking about?!"

"Ok, our little chit chat is over. Now get your ass out my private ruins!"

"This is insane, ya know, cuz even though I throw you out, you're here! Ehhh… I'm gettin' soft. You still piss me off, though. "

"And what the hell is so funny?! One thing I must admit. You know how to hack people out. Maybe this time I'll show you the door or whatever has last from it."

"Oh?! You wanna fight? Reach to that pocket once more and you'll taste that piece of me! Gimme' a break! You won't last one damn nanosecond!"

" Fine! I warned ya… What? A card? What the… "

"…….."

"…….."

"…….."

"_This time use PHD_??? What that supposed to mean?! You're kidding me, right? So… actually… who did you said you are?"

"**Nancy Carlston from Personal Hell Delivery. A package for you. Sign here please…**"


End file.
